no no no no

still walking normally, for which I am super grateful. of course I went through a series of muscle aches as muscles I haven't used in a month got called back into action. and apparently flip-flops are a bad idea right now (too flat, no support), so I should be grateful for the return to cooler weather. and the excuse to wear my cute heels...?

I do really miss running though. and I am super tempted to push my recovery so I can get back out there. fortunately(?), my foot is having nothing of it. on Tuesday, I jogged across the street to catch the tail end of a green light, and regretted it for the next 20 minutes. come on, it's a friggin intersection! yesterday, I ran out of PetsMart to my car, and regretted that for a solid 2 miles -- kinda felt like I might throw up from the pain. oy. the instant I move from a walking gait to anything resembling jogging or running, my foot immediately pipes up with "no no no no no no running." grr! dumb foot!

I guess it's time to try the bike again. come on foot, work with me here!

it's the little things in life

I spent all day walking normally!!!!!!! there are not enough exclamation points in the world to express my joy. 22 days. I have been limping for 22 days.

for posterity's sake, I have to say that I was wearing heels (yes, they make me extra-freakishly-tall but omg all cute dress shoes are heels), which, with this injury, is a bit like cheating. tonight while I was cooking dinner in my stocking feet, I could feel the twinges in my ankle. but I was able to mostly walk normally even in socks. and completely unmedicated.

WOO to the freaking HOO!!!!!!

slow as a snail

...referring both to how quickly I can walk at this point (cry), and to how quickly my foot seems to be healing (more crying).

over the past two days, Wednesday and Thursday, my foot actually seemed to be getting worse. WHAT. it's been actively painful, versus the usual slight ache with occasional sharp pains when I step wrong. this has resulted in me calling off two workouts, eating a lot of crap, and generally being a crabby terrible no good very bad person to be around. the Handyman is pretty over it. hell, I am pretty over it!

however. after staying up ridiculously late last night trying to meet a paper deadline (which turns out not to be for another month, typo on the conference website FML), stepping really wrong on my way to bed after sitting stock-still at my desk for hours, then sleeping for like 11 hours (work from home FTW), I actually feel a wee tiny bit better today. gasp! I went down the stairs one foot per stair instead of the gimpy both-feet-on-each-stair that I've been doing for two weeks now...and I was halfway down the stairs before I noticed. I've even taken a couple of steps that felt almost-normal.

I've wondered whether I'd wake up one morning totally healed from this injury and walking perfectly normal again, or if it'd be this slow baby step progress, or if I'd have to consciously stop limping because I'm so used to it now.

please, please, please let this progress continue. and can we speed it up a little please? quick like a bunny? it is Easter weekend you know...

no couch potato

the official diagnosis is that I sprained my foot. I don't buy it 100%, because Google says ;) that sprains are usually caused by twisting the foot unexpectedly, or running over uneven ground; while the road was slightly uneven in places at the Cherry Blossom 10M, I was watching my footing every step of the way (that's what ya get for wearing Vibrams), and don't recall a single twist or unexpectedly difficult landing. just straight forward, mile after mile. which really seems to me to be more like the recipe for a stress fracture.

I find myself comparing this "injury" to the time I somersaulted down a black diamond at Mt Hood Meadows in...hmm, 2005, maybe? I got xrays, was diagnosed as having a shin contusion with severe swelling, and told to ice, elevate, and stay the hell off it for at least a week. I was so so good about it...but also really really lonely. didn't help that the pain meds didn't touch the pain, but made me really really sleepy. I became a total couch potato. started a netflix account, watched a lot of Project Runway...and ate a lot of donuts. a lot.

one week turned into 2 turned into 4...after 2-ish weeks, the shin felt ok and I tried to go skiing again -- I was determined that this injury was not going to end my ski season -- but my leg had other thoughts. the moment I put the ski boot on, the leg said HELL NO, GTFO. so I went to the lodge and proceeded to get trashed while my friends skied the awesome corn.

since it was the back of my leg that was twinging at that point, I thought maybe I had a posterior contusion, which Google said ;) takes longer to heal. I was still limping at least 6 weeks post-fall. 6 months later I got another xray...which showed pronounced calcium deposits on my fibula. yeah. broken leg, misdiagnosed. I'm happy it healed well but I wish I'd known why it was taking so darn long to heal. so I am a little mistrustful of this diagnosis.

while I was on the couch healing my leg in '05, I dreamed of running. swore that I would train for a marathon after I healed...well here I am, 6 years later, and finally signed up for my first. and injured again. but so so happy that with this injury, this time around, I have no desire to watch endless tv or eat boxes and boxes of donuts. maybe it's the impending wedding/honeymoon that I want to look awesome for, maybe it's having actual goal races that I have already plunked down money for (see, told you I'd get over hating racing). but this time, I am at the gym trying out all the cardio options to see what works with the foot, and planning to get in a lot of lifting. BRING IT.

(but also, foot, please heal in the week that the dr said it would take...please?? swimming is so boring, I can't take it as my only cardio! if anyone has swimming drills to stave off the boredom, or instruction videos to improve my stroke, please share!)

still not running

or walking, for that matter. my ankle/heel is still really painful from the Cherry Blossom race. I'm going to get it x-rayed soon - the Handyman said last night that from the looks of the swelling (I had an unusually active day, trying to keep up with some colleagues walking to/from lunch), he thinks it's a stress fracture. I know he doesn't know bubcus but it still stressed me out to hear it. also, seriously?? I broke my foot by running on it??? lame.

I visited my mom this weekend and she made me use crutches while I was there...so at least I got in a good upper body workout. sigh.

race report: Cherry Blossom 10M

a race in two parts. or, the race in which the last 10% completely ruined the first 90% which is statistically unreasonable. or, why did I sign up for a half-marathon before completing this distance first?? at the end of the race, I was done with racing, and severely regretting the two I have on tap (Alexandria Half 5/29, Marine Corps Marathon 10/30). but I am getting ahead of myself.


the start was really cold. I am a big wuss about the cold. and the early. the Handyman is too -- he was wearing 4 pairs of pants :) and napped on the metro on the way there. I decided to keep my running jacket on and hand it off to him at some point along the course (good decision!). I had been planning to run with my mp3 player but the instructions seemed pretty strict about not bringing them, so I didn't...and was super pissed to see that nearly everyone in my corral had headphones on. grr!!! either enforce the rules or don't make the rule!

we thought this would be a fairly spectator-friendly race, since it loops around and back to the same 1-block area about 3 times. unfortunately the Handyman didn't get out there in time, and was totally blocked off from the runners. sadface! I don't know where he ended up, but I didn't see him until mile 5, which I knew would be my last chance to see him before the finish. I gratefully handed off my jacket, and headed on my way.

those first 5 miles were pretty great. I played the "follow that butt" game (plenty of butts to choose from! lots of people going at an excellent pace for me, just over 10m/m), watched my footing, breathed easy. was through the 5k in 32min, felt a little slow but hey we have a ways to go. I hit mile 5 at 52-ish min, and had as my dream goal to finish the 10 miles in 100 min, so told myself I needed to push it...and I hit mile 6 at 60:00. awesome. I planned to "drop the hammer" once I started the Hains Point loop.

I hate Hains Point. I do, I really do. I didn't like running it for the Jingle 10k, I didn't like cheering at it for MCM, and I really, really hated it this morning. I was super confused for most of it, and just could not remember whether or not we'd gotten to the turnaround point. for all 3 miles. not good.

at some point my right heel started hurting. this is a totally new pain to me, and I have no idea why it happened -- probably my gait was off, maybe because of some bursts of speed I put on to push through people-gaps? I think it started up quite a bit before Hains Point, but it got to be a serious problem in there, and I started limping. I tried to play follow-that-butt, play music in my head, tell myself I had less than a 5k to go, walked through 2 of the water stops, etc., and that all worked to some extent. but by the time I hit mile 9, I was near tears.

if anyone saw me past mile 9, it was not pretty. grimacing & cussing. and I felt really bad about it, I wanted to respond to the cheering, to push up that last hill, to kick it up to a sprint once I saw that finish line (why is it around a corner?? that's just mean!) and finish strong, but my heel just wouldn't let me. it said, "we have two speeds: this one, and stop. GTFO." the Handyman saw me finish and said I looked like I wasn't having much fun. I collapsed into his arms just past the finish line photographers (I think all of the photographers on the course missed me, which I hate because I do love an action shot, but I was always in the middle of the road and saw them too late to dodge to the side & get a pic snapped. I did manage to smile for finish-line posed photo, maybe it will come out ok but I will always see the tears in my eyes I think), and I wept, and told him I didn't want to walk anymore.

I'm actually still weepy. my heels hurts and I can't put weight on it. my left knee hurts too, so I've been scooting around our house on my butt. yeah.

so...I'm glad I ran it, I'm glad I tried this distance, the volunteers were super awesome especially out on Hains Point!, but I wouldn't do this race again. at this particular moment, I don't want to do any races ever again, but that will probably fade. I will admit to not being trained for this race distance, and that needs to not ever happen again (train right or take a DNS). oh and to add insult to injury, I stupidly went and looked up the "unofficial" results to see that gosh am I slow (bottom 30% overall). I did pass 708 people in the second half though (and got passed back by 393, which I would bet happened almost entirely in mile 9). bah, why do I even bother.

excuse me while I go mope. and ice my heel. *sigh*